I really don’t understand why everyone is so anti-bailout. Whatever happened to the “Golden Rule”, huh?

I know that personally, I would love the American auto industry to bail me out of my debt! In fact, I’m now drafting a proposal called the “Individual Taxpayer Bailout Initiative”, which I hope to send onto my congresswoman, and senators, to see if I can get them to tack it on to some future bailout package. For the benefit of my readership, I have converted the proposal into a template (very close to the one I believe GM, Ford, WaMu, etc have been using), and I encourage all of you fill out one for yourself, and send it along to your respective legislators.

Dear Congressperson/Senator,

It has come to my attention, recently, that you have been voting for certain proposed bailout packages for various corporations within certain industries. I, too, would like to receive financial assistance from the federal government. Due to poor decision-making in my past, I currently have $_________ in debt. Although this may seem like a lot for an individual in my position, I assure you that my personal financial decisions have been absolutely horrendously foolish, although they probably seem tame compared to the decisions made by the institutions you have already bailed out…

A check for the above amount will be accepted by the under-signed (me) who, in return, makes the solemn vow never to learn from his mistakes as long as he can get other people to clean up his messes. Also, you’re allowed to pretend like I’m gonna pay you back (hint: I’m not).

Sincerely,

——————————————–

Mark this momentous day, December 9th, 2008. This was the day that I escaped the prison of nicotine addiction. I didn’t “give it up”, but I have come to the full realization that there is nothing enjoyable or good about smoking. Anything I can do while smoking, I can do better not as a smoker. So I do not have, and will never have a reason or motivation to smoke another cigarette.

I’m finally free from that weed and all the pain that it brought into my life! I feel like I’ve escaped from shackles in some dank, moldy medieval dungeon, and have stepped into the gloriously beautiful light of day, with the fresh air on my face. It’s that awesome!

Just finished watching “Expelled”, it’s the Ben Stein Intelligent Design documentary. Absolutely artful.

Cinematically, and especially as regards the usual intended purpose of documentaries (that is, pretending to objective investigative journalism while actually pushing an agenda), this movie was done very well.

With a powerful running comparative theme between Proponents of the (Darwinian) Theory of Evolution (hereafter “TEs”) and Communists/Nazis, combined with appeals to “free inquiry” and a well-portrayed “We’re the Victims, but all we want to do is Talk, and be heard”, the Proponents of Intelligent-Design-is-Legitimate-Science (hereafter “IDs”)  have been given the best method I’ve yet seen for fighting their battle.

Where do I stand? Ideally, education would be out of the hands of government, and into the hands of private enterprise…which makes this argument mute. Parents could then choose to send their kids to whatever school taught what they wanted their kids to learn. Which due to economies of scale, would result in like-minded folk, who cared enough, clumping together (geographically) for the sake of their children’s education. Although give technology/standard-of-living another 10-15 years and your average U.S. citizen would be able to send their kids to a high-quality “virtual” classroom, complete with 10-20 other students connected to the teacher (and each other) simultaneously through streaming video/audio feeds with bevy of peripheral technology (digital drawing/writing tablets, digital books/source-material, et al). Of course this won’t be a substitute for the in-person social interaction a brick-and-mortar school is so good for, as well as other shortcomings a system like this might have. I know, and can think of, solutions to these problems, but that’s a little too tangential to the question at hand.

When it comes to how ID and TE should exist in the current educational system I think that it is of the utmost importance to define certain terms and clarify the overall goals of our educational system. Specifically, what subjects should be taught in school? IDs and TEs both say that their ideas should be taught under “Science”. But seriously, that alone is a pathetically inadequate answer. It is obvious from the massive extent of “The Sciences” that we’re not going to try to teach every possible field to our children, despite how entertaining it might be for (us to watch) them to try to wrap their little brains around Computational Fluid Dynamics, Quantum Mechanics or for a real “meta” experience they can try “Instructional Theory” .

So we have to prioritize. For the last hundred or so years, our system has been set up to teach the “fundamentals” of the sciences, with the primary intention (or so it seems to me) that a graduating high school student would be able to easily transition into any more specialized form of these sciences at the college level, or at least have a pretty basic understanding of “how the world works” if the student doesn’t continue on to higher education. The other major purpose behind the choice of subject matter, it seems, has been to train the mind of the student to think analytically (which results in problem-solving that’s better “guess-and-check”).

So…we have Information Gathering and Mental Training. Let’s see if we can divide the common high school subjects up into these:

…

I just lost interest in finishing this thought. Anyways…it seems to me that the only way ANY theory should be taught as “Science” is if it conforms to the definition of science. This is where the argument should take place. Commonly (and simplified) a theory is “properly” scientific if it:

1. Makes falsifiable predictions
2. Is supported by rigorous observation or experimentation
3. Is the most simple explanation (Occam’s Razor)

How do our candidates measure up against these three basic rules? Well, they both seem to do just fine with 2) and 3), although they might quarrel when it comes to “who’s more simple?”. More importantly, though, BOTH of them seem to fail at 1). I’ve been wracking my brain, and scouring the internet for legitimate falsifiability for either of these theories, and I’ve come up dry. So…we can just throw it out, right? Then both are happily scientific, and arguing about whether the other is the simplest (”parsimonious” in philosophy-pf-science-speak).

Oh, well.

One last particularly interesting point raised by the Stein-vs-Dawkins finale:

Despite the high likelihood that most IDs are thinking of something similar to a Islamo-Judeo-Christian God when they conclude with the existence of a Designer, all that they’ve really concluded is the existence of “an intelligent being that controlled the genetic development of life as-we-know-it”. No omniscience. No omnipotence. No immortality. Just some dude that was brilliant (by human standards) at tinkering with carbon-based molecule chains.

With our developments in computers, artificial intelligence, and self-replicating robots, I find it hilarious to think that, within a century or two, we’ll be able to “seed” another world/planet with our ‘bots, and have them Designed to eventually (many thousands of robot generations down the road) have this same argument amongst themselves. Awesome movie/book idea coming…

So…the story follows a race of robots on a red planet (as they debate this same TE/ID argument), but some terrible disaster is about to strike them (rampant super-virus), so they set aside their argument, pool their computing resources, and design carbon-based life with such finely tuned genetics that it will eventually develop a bi-pedal species with opposable thumbs and that species will eventually re-create the robotic species. They then send this “version” of life to a blue-green planet, to fulfill its purpose. But wait! Flashback at the end of the movie…the robots were ORGINALLY created by a humans on Earth, then sent to Mars, to do exactly THAT! But wait!! Flash FARTHER back, and the humans came (evolutionarily) from this SAME species of robot!! But wait!! Flash back even further (ad nauseam)…

Bottom line:
Silly debate.
Absurd rancor.
Neither of these theories belong in any class before college. When the kids in biology ask, “but where did the animals come from?” you explain to them that you weren’t “there” with your camcorder when the animals first “came”, and then let them know that they can study it the origins of life, the universe and everything, further in college. Just the same way you’d respond if they asked, “but if the universe is EVERYTHING, what space is there for it to expand INTO?”. Some inquiries are beyond high school. Talk about survivability and genetic mutation/variation all you want. The origin of species? Pointless to discuss, at least for high school science kids.

Well, shit. I knew that social situations especially where drinking is involved would be the hardest. Hence my staying away from all friends that smoke, ad bars, for the last 2+ weeks.

Well, I had good reason. The apparent happiness and satisfaction other people were enjoying while smoking drove me to say to myseld, “it must be enjoyable. i want that.”

*Sigh*

So much sense of failure (how I hate that word, when applied to myself), so much confusion about how to go on…

And to think, I was living so frugally before this…

Shit.

Recommended short reading of the week:

http://www.cbp.gov/linkhandler/cgov/travel/admissability/search_authority.ctt/search_authority.pdf

It’s the Customs and Border Protection Policy Regarding Border Search of Information. Let me highlight some points for those of you too lazy to read 1,500 words:

1)  “In the course of a border search, and absent individualized suspicion, officers can review and analyze the information transported by any individual attempting to enter, reenter, depart, pass through, or reside in the United States…”

2) “Officers may detain documents and electronic devices, or copies thereof, for a reasonable period of time to perform a thorough border search. The search may take place on-site or at an off-site location.”

3) “Officers may encounter information in documents or electronic devices that is in a foreign language and/or encrypted. To assist CBP in determining the meaning of such information, CBP may seek translation and/or decryption assistance from other Federal agencies or entities. Officers may seek such assistance absent individualized suspicion.”

4) (under “Responses and Time for Assistance”, and relevant to #3) Responses from assisting agencies are expected in an expeditious manner so that CBP may complete its border search in a reasonable period of time. Unless otherwise approved by the principal field official such as the Director, Field Operations or Chief Patrol Agent, responses should be received within fifteen (15) days. This timeframe is to be explained in the request for assistance. If the assisting agency is unable to respond in that period of time, CBP may permit extensions in increments of seven (7) days.

So, you put it all together and what do you get? Without any suspicion, any member of Customs and Border Protection can, without any negative repercussions, and you without any legal recourse:

1) Take your laptop from you and look at every file on it, even the boring ones, like your e-mails and personal letters.

2) Send it away to another location for “decryption/translation” (there is ALWAYS encrypted information on every computer, they’re called passwords - and how are they supposed to know that you’re not storing terrorist activities within your password hash, uh…somehow . Well, better safe than sorry, right?)

3) Ask another agency “for assistance” with said decryption/translation. Then hold onto your laptop for 15 + 7(x) days, where ‘x’ equals however many “extensions” CBP wants to “permit”.

Don’t forget, like it says at the beginning of the policy:

“For example, examinations of documents and electronic devices are a crucial tool for detecting information concerning terrorism, narcotics smuggling, and other national security matters; alien admissibility; contraband including child pornography, monetary instruments, and information in violation of copyright or trademark laws; and evidence of embargo violations or other import or export control laws.”

It’s good that they snuck that one in there. I hadn’t been aware it was their duty to see if I had a copy of an eBook on the laptop that I hadn’t legally paid for. Or to make sure that I owned all the CDs or had used a legal download service for all the MP3s on my computer. I’ll be sure to bring all my eBook, Sam Goody, Virgin Records, Blockbuster Music, Tower Records and iTunes receipts in the future.

And I better make sure to bring and be ready to show documentation to prove that all commercial software installed on my computer has been bought and paid for, now where did I put that receipt for Windows XP that I bought 5 years ago?

Of course, all those above measures are really unneccessary, if you don’t mind them having “individualized suspicion” and all the FUN that goes along with that!

And this is the best part, where the contrarians reading this say, “Well, I’ve got nothing to hide…” or “Only criminals will be hurt by this…”. And for those who have no issue (or perhaps enjoy) surrendering this right for no good reason, the best response was given ’bout 200 years ago:

It behooves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself, to resist invasions of it in the case of others: or their case may, by change of circumstances, become his own.
Thomas Jefferson

And of course, there is the rallying cry of us libertarians, especially in the last 6 years, 10 months:

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin

A little shook up, literally (oh, I “crack” myself up –oooh my sides are “splitting” with laughter–*sigh*) as, according to US Geological Survey, a 5+ magnitude quake hit less than 15 miles from the Lab. Whew…good times!

Not talking about tuberculosis here - which is what consumption meant way back in the day (circa 1800’s). We’re talking good old capitalist-consumerism. Which is awesome, but only in moderation.

So to encourage myself in that, I’ll keep a totally useless log of what I remembered spending money since I last posted.

Got hurry and finish this post, WoW awaits.

Here’s a slightly shaming admission of my failure to realize the complete idiocy of smoking on my last attempt, as well as my underestimation of the seduction of “the monster” in the first couple weeks. Cheers to over-confidence! It’s good to be TRULY free, now!

My imagination is now filling with the awesomeness of not being chained down (socially especially) by the little beast! Imagine: being able to take in the full enjoyment of a social environment without The Nagger breathing down my neck telling me to breathe his!

I’m pretty excited, and supremely certain that I will NEVER partake of another product containing nicotine. Any of my smoker friends reading this would say things like:

Smoker Friend: “But, dude, aren’t you gonna miss the full-flavor of the warm smoke right after a full meal?”

And I respond, “Are you fucking retarded?!? Seriously, dude. Seriously. Are you? You really need to stop for just one second and actually taste the cigarette you’re smoking. Dude…it tastes like burning ash, literally. But the release from the anxiety of the nicotine pangs has become confused for pleasure in your mind. And you associate this “pleasure” with the “flavor” of your cigarette. Which is why…in the end any cigarette (despite how wildly different the brands may taste) will do.”

Smoker Friend:“Yeah, well, it’s like the Matrix, whatever the illusion, my mind says ‘Pleasure’, and so does yours!”

Me: “Exactly, dude. Perfect analogy. I’m like Neo: ‘There is no spoon’, and the opportunities opened up by not being controlled by this ‘Pleasure’ are comparatively limitless. I can even stop mind-bullets, just ask Wonder Boy. You’re more like…some random schmuck in the Matrix. Enjoy you’re illusion while I save the world, and totally get Carrie-Anne Moss (who may not be the hottest movie star, but she does have that je ne sais quoi, which is French for (roughly): the ability to look absolutely stunning and deadly in tight leather and short cropped hair despite not being a particularly stunning or deadly-looking person normally. ).

Sorry for the clauses, I’ve been reading a lot of Douglas Adams, lately. Seriously, though, now that I not a smoker anymore, I could do waaaay better than Carrie-Anne Moss, who according to IMDB is almost 41, married and has 2 children. Any ladies reading this…I’m talking about you. And not in the general plural “you” sense. Through the wonders of future technology, specifically, time travel, I’m actually addressing, YOU, my future wife. That’s right, baby, you ARE the one. I’m not addressing your friend if you send her a link to this page, nor your friend that sent you here. I’m talking only to YOU, babe.

Wow, helluva digression. This is what I call top-notch blagging. Excuse me while I miss the sky…but not cigarettes, w00t, and listen to Glycerine with a night-cap.

A weekend of glorious fun and excess (kind of).

Friday night:
1) Katie flakes on going out. Instead goes to local bar and has a beer with Brenna.
2) Sarah picks up Jeanne late from LAX
3) Everyone’s having good time at “Good” (bar).
4) Everyone = Raf, Mark, Loryn, Sean, Tom Wr., Max, Helen, Bridget Don., Erin, Tim, Others(??)
5) Sarah, Jeanne and I arrive almost simultaneously. The party really starts.
6) Move to “Winchester’s” due to insane crowd @ Good.
7) Lose Bridget, Helen, Max, Sean, Tom. Gain Joey, Dana, Laura Lau., Others.
Good times continue. Shots. Copious Photos.
9) Crash at the McLean’s. Star Wars chat with Mark. Good times.
Saturday
1) Wake up. Beginning skimming Star Wars book.
2) Scare Mrs. McLean.
3) Get Starbucks. Go to Orellana’s. Chat with Raf over Starbucks. Good times.
4) Lunch @ El Pref with Raf, Jeanne, Sarah. Raf leaves to visit Gabe.
5) Great talk with Sarah and Jeane about Faith, belief, and the importance of Truth underlying what we live by. Very Good Times.
6) Part ways with Sarah & Jeanne. Head into Ventura (towards Fry’s). Call Joy. She’s finishing shift at golf course. Perfect timing. I veer from course and head towards golf course. Hang out in Bar & Grill, chatting with Greg and Dustin, the bartenders, who serve me free beer. Good times.
7) Sister and I want to see a movie. Katie does not, but says she’ll be ready in a couple hours. Sister and I go see Wanted. Get iced chai tea and chat before movie. Good times.
Watch Wanted with Sister. Very Fun movie.
9) Sister and I part ways. Supposedly only for hour or two until we meet again in downtown Ventura. I go to the Scanlon’s.
10) Empty Scanlon’s house, minus Katie, Brenna and Kirstie. Kinda weird (the house being empty, that is). Preparation to leave begins. Promises are made.
11) Drinks with Katie while other two get ready.
12) Drinks with Katie and Kirstie while other one gets ready.
13) Everyone ready to go. All looking (in my opinion) just as pretty as when I arrived. Me and three pretty girls. Good times.
14) Arrive at Main St.
15) Meet up with a gorgeous Colleen (as always) and a debonair-evil Evan (it’s all about the goatee). Definitely one of the prettiest (and smartest) couples around.
16) Cafe Fiore. Dancing. Drinks. Pictures. Meet up with Sarah, Jeanne, and Raf. Good times.
17) Head to “J’s”. Kirstie has an in, but it’s packed, and definitely not our kind of crowd. Up to Star Lounge, say hi to Joey and Dana. Off to Winchester’s (due to later last call than other places)
18) Drinks, pictures. More drinks. More pictures. Last Call. More pictures. Pizza on the way back. Group splits. Sarah, Jeanne and Katie. Brenna, Raf, Kirstie and me.
19) Back to Scanlons. Brenna and Kirstie crash. Raf and I make ourselves some Screwdrivers. Great conversation (even better than usual) with Raf until pre-dawn light in the sky. Good Times, good times.

Sunday
FORTHCOMING (gotta sleep now)

Smoker: No
Alcohol Consumption: 3 Corona Lights. 2 Glasses red
Weight: 242.6
Symptoms: Dry, scratchy throat. Blurry vision. Mental tiredness.
Food Intake: Delicious BBQ chicken (prolly about 1.5 lbs), summer squash/zucchini, salad, and 5-6 pieces of garlic bread, for dinner (at Anthony and Anne-Marie’s) Apple pie for dessert. Lunch was club sandwich w/ salad at the Scanlons. Strawberry ‘n Creme Starbucks. Large Diet Coke.
OMG I feel like a fattie after listing all that: Yes, ’specially ’cause Iz ’bout to has ‘nuther Corona Light (it’s ok tho cuz its lite = makes me skinnier the more I drink)

Cool Idea for a T-Shirt:
The Meme Shirt. A 3×3, 4×4, or 4×5 grid of rounded corner squares (white space in between) with something that distinctly represents a famous meme. Including:
lolcats, AYBABTU, hampster dance, dancing baby, dramatic prairie dog, peanut butter jelly time, ultimate showdown, Leeroy Jenkins, Snakes on a Plane, O RLY owl, OK GO, Canon D, Chuck Norris Facts, Mentos + Diet Coke fountains, Ask a Ninja, Maddox, Rickroll, Homestar runner.

The title of the shirt reads “Don’t Worry, Ma’am. We’re from the Internet.”

Tomatoes with Salmonella.

Floods destroy farmland.

Food Crisis.

Spinach with E. Coli.

West Nile Virus.

Bird Flu.

Population Bomb.

We’re all gonna die. No doubt about it. But only your neighborhood News wants us to think it’s gonna be tomorrow, unless we watch their show for them to tell us how to “Protect Ourselves and Our Children” (won’t SOMEONE think of the CHILDREN!??!!!) from the latest uber-mega-hypo-pandemic.

Well, keeping in line with my new oh-so-health-conscious mentality, I’ve decided that my personal health needs to be under 24-hour surveillance, in case one of these random Armageddon-esque dangers was to sneak up on me all quiet-like. So, without further ado, I create the OMG HEALTH category to track details about my physical condition that will appear useless and inane to all but the most trained eyes.

So here it is:

SMOKER: no
ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION: 1
WEIGHT: 232.2 (kg or lbs - my scale doesn’t say)
BODY FAT %: 85 (estimate based on self-image)
ACTUAL BODY FAT %: unknown
DIET:
1 large bowl of Grape Nuts w/ Granola (1% milk)
2 A&W Cream Soda
1 Corona Light
IMAGES forthcoming…